Sticks and Bones

The first part of a chronicle of a crush-turned-obsession. I'm sorry, Julie.


To experience this in natural reading order go to A Bright, Ironic Hell: The Straight Read .


Also, try Satellite Dance and Crystal Delusions--Parts 2 and 3, respectively--complete.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

But in a Nice Way (6/26/08 Thursday)

The way I act around Julie begs me to consider how I might appear to her.  My behavior is of someone self-conscious, self-absorbed, and quietly crying for attention.  Needy.  My hope to be noticed by her is an arrogance, an insecure puffing-up.  There is nothing to gain from this besides a label of "odd."  Who wants odd?  And yet how do I give her attention?  How do I care beyond getting what I want?  How can I leave my self behind in order to understand Julie?

I haven't worked with her all week.  If she hasn't switched again, I'll maybe get a chance Saturday.  I miss our time on the desk together.  I'd like to let her know that, or at least that I enjoy our time together.  The big trick for me would be to do it without coming across as creepy.

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