Double Threat (7/16/08 Wednesday)

I feel much better this morning, with a longer sleep, but not wholly reconciled to yesterday’s mood. I have a better feeling about today. I woke and went immediately to washing the dishes, something I would normally have left on a Wednesday morning till I come back from dropping the clothes in the washer across the street. Shortly thereafter a knock sounded on my back door. A maintenance man informed me that my water heater and the floor underneath it were to be replaced very shortly. I asked him if I had time for a shower. With his foot he closed a cock on a pipe and said, "Yeah, a short, quick one." Five minutes later I was out of the shower I wouldn’t have taken for another two hours. So, I’m well ahead on my day, which will now not press on me so hard as it nears time to get to work.

But what of the day with Julie? It will be a short one, she working early and I late, but I must use it to what advantage I can find–-without creeping her out. My best strategy, I realize, is no strategy. My head has proven no match for my heart in territory in which it interlopes. If only they would talk to each other, these brothers in me. ... If only Head didn’t cow Heart with rationale and strategy and Heart kindly and dumbly acquiesce to every idea simply because it hasn’t one of its own. ... Head suffers from the burden as heart suffers its own unrequited needs because of its timid inaction. How to level this playing field? Not with an imbalance on the other end (not that I could do that without too much of the Fool’s help). In the balance is my self.