Or Maybe It Means She's Got Me By the Short Hairs (9/15/08 Monday)

I recall a snippet of dream I had last night: Julie and I were walking toward a tall, black chain-link fence, on the other side of which was our destination. A gate at the end of a cinder path would be our entrance. Upon approach I noticed that a padlocked chain prevented our passage through that gate, which I noted out loud in mild lament. But Julie continued past me and through a break in the fence to the left of the gate. I hesitated, both pleased with her discovery and chagrined that I hadn't seen it. I'm sure this is significant. I believe it's telling me to follow her lead, but without hesitation or prideful questioning. And I do believe she is asking me to do that. When she said, "Think about it," I was frightened by her apparent nonchalance, but I've since interpreted it as a trust with the responsibility of keeping up with this ball I've started down the hill. It's a role ("roll") I will cherish and relish. It means getting out of, and staying out of, myself in order to stay attuned to her. It's an exciting challenge, the thought of which brings a smile to my face, and the execution of which I can already envision doing the same. This an outstanding opportunity to shed the obsessive thought and behavior that has been a hallmark of this endeavor.