And Who Knows What the Hell the Name of the Game Is! (10/22/08)

I've never felt more desperately alone. I'm staring into that chasm, and I'm ready to step into the void. There's bound to be peace there. I don't want to give up on Julie. I can't admit what I know--that she'll never feel anything for me. Dammit, why do I have to feel anything for her? Why does she make it seem so goddamned easy? Why can't I take this like a fucking man? Because I'm not a man. I'm just a person out of his mind with frustration and bitterness because he can't have what he deserves and has no control over getting it. Women hold all the cards and the rule book, too. Nobody tell me about fairness!