Woke up to the alarm wondering how I'd approach the day, but once at work I seemed to give myself no choice but to reinstate my previous policy--as little contact of any sort as possible with Julie. It wasn't difficult, of course, being cowardice.
I turn again to friendship and Stacey. I am free to give her "neutrality" any spin I like, but it is unequivocally a lack of support. She'd heard the rumors, knew what Chris did. How could she think what Chris did was right? If she used the same bogus argument--If someone had a blog about you, blah blah blah"--that everyone else uses to lionize Chris, then why didn't she rat me out herself? Is she as "guilty" as I am? How can she even implicitly condone what he did? I am still reeling at the mentality that has put me on the outside of right. God, I don't want to play the victim, but what has been done right by me? WHAT THE FUCK HAS BEEN DONE RIGHT?!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
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