As in "...it in the bud!" (2/10/09 Tuesday)

Monday morning Mike asked about my weekend, so of course I had to tell him about my outing with Jan. We were at the discharge stations before opening. Julie was in and out of the workroom, and was in and very close by when I said, "...but she lives out of town, so we won't get to see each other but a couple times a month, maybe." At the time, I was sure that would sound like I was seeing someone, though now, when I think about it, it could as easily have meant Colin or Kevyn. the idea, of course, was to induce jealousy. At the same time, I was worried she'd decide with relief that I was over her. It could go either way.

I told Angie, too, that I had had a "coffee date." "How did that go?" "It went great," I said, "a million times better than the last one." I'd often wondered how much Angie actually knew, and her laughter and "Oh, lord, yes!" told me that. But from whom or what? From Julie or the blog? I would prefer she'd consulted the blog, but she's not a reader or a snoop.

Thomas brought the second mail early today, just after noon and my sitting down to lunch. He'd come right on the heels of the first mail, so Tammy told him to cool his jets while Mary Lou at backup finished unpacking. You don't have to tell Thomas twice to chill. He sat down at the next table and engaged me about Julie. I all but spilled my guts, or at least my brains. I told him about the "date" and how I'd told her I wanted to get to know her better (leaving out "fascinating") and how shocked she seemed to be at my request. He said, "Did you apologize?" "For what?" "For surprising her like that. For coming on so strong." How smart and perfect that would have been, too, if only I hadn't been hurting. Tammy gave Thomas the go-ahead and he went back to his truck. By then people were streaming in on the next shift, and there was no way I'd be finished lunch and out of there before Julie, usually a couple minutes late, arrived. I had just finished my sandwich when I heard her voice in greeting of Thomas at the back door. In the time it would have taken her to open the fridge door to put lunch in, she still hadn't shown. She'd have gone to her desk straightaway, but she'd be here for her ice and water in a few minutes. I usually sat with my back to the kitchen, so I could both see out the windows and avoid seeing anyone else. I finished my yogurt and stood to gather my containers, journal and manuscript when I heard the relase of the freezer door and the clinks in the glass. I slowed, fumbling with my pens and bookmark as the footsteps crossed to the sink and water floated the ice. I had a handle on my stuff as the footsteps reversed. "Hello, by the way," said Julie, still walking away, I noticed when I finally turned and said a flat "Hello." Now, as I am trying to maintain a strict non-interpretation policy (NIP) in regard to Julie's actions, I will not speculate on that greeting--but boy do I ever want to sink my teeth into it!