Diaphanous Allusion? (2/04/09 Wednesday)

Julie is invisible again, or almost; I haven't quite gotten back in the swing. If Monday's chill stare wasn't enough, my new attitude prodded me backward, suppressing the conscience that made me uneasy about it before. If I'm really to believe that all this hasn't been about her, as I've professed, then she must truly be made an object--or, maybe, rather, the vehicle on which this project rides. Or would she be the fuel propelling the vehicle? What is she? Not a metaphor, apparently.